


Healing and Hijinks

by suddenlyGoats



Series: Transcendence Fics [5]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Transcendence (Gravity Falls), Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 00:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13892766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suddenlyGoats/pseuds/suddenlyGoats
Summary: The non-roleplay adventures of the Haunted and Hunted crew after the events of the original fic.





	1. Meeting Jarled

Renee glowered at the person at the other side of the table from her, Charlie, and Vin. Charlie was looking at the floor, fiddling with zir hands. Vin was looking around absently.

 

Renee had no idea why she agreed to this. This was a mistake. This was so obviously and unmistakably a mistake. They would have been fine on their own. It wouldn’t have been great, but it would’ve worked. They didn’t need some interloper, whom they knew nothing about besides that they worshipped a demon, to inject themself into their lives to take control of everything. It wasn’t going to end well for them and she should have known it from the start. She should have put her metaphorical foot down from the start. But she didn’t. And now she was here, full of regret. She wondered what Alcor would do if she called this off right now. He had said that she they could end the arrangement for any reason. But he would probably get mad at her for not being willing to actually give the person a chance.  And she really didn’t want to make Alcor, Maker of Archipelagos, mad. Even if he had assured her that he wasn’t going to do anything to her or her friends, she wasn’t willing to test his temper.

 

The person, an older werewolf in their midform, smiled gently at the teens. It was clearly supposed to put them at ease. She wondered if that was why they were in their midform, if they had been told that they might not trust humans so made themself physically inhuman to help relax them. How dumb did they think she was to fall for such obvious tactics?

 

“Hello,” they said. “My name’s Jarled. Jarled Thornbaker. Feel free to use whichever name you’re more comfortable with. I use pronouns like he/him/his. Would you like to introduce yourselves?”

 

Jarled sat like a statue: solid and still. He was a large man, even for a midform werewolf. He had two meters of height, broad shoulders, and a fair amount of fat all over. His fur, patterned like that of a grey wolf, was short and soft looking.

 

“How much did they tell you?” Renee asked.

 

“About what brings you here? Not much. I was simply told that Our Star had requested that someone ensure the three of you have what you need,” Jarled said. “From that I can assume that you have probably been through a significant ordeal, as Our Star isn’t well known for rehousing those who don’t need greatly.”

 

“Why are you the one to look after us?” she asked.

 

“I have the space to house you and have experience adopting teen wards,” he explained.

 

Renee crossed her arms. “What makes you so interested in adopting teenagers?”

 

“Well, the first time I did it it was mostly because someone had to, and that went well so I kept doing it.”

 

Vin extended his neck, placing his head between Renee and Jarled. “So, um, hi. My name is Vin. I’m a him, I guess. It’s nice to meet you or whatever. Charlie, do you wanna introduce yourself?”

 

“Um, alright.” Charlie pulled zir eyes away from the floor to meet Jarled’s. “I’m Charlie. Ze/zir. Thank you for being willing to take us in.”

 

“The girl with absolutely no cares about basic etiquette is Renee, I’m sorry about her, she’s not normally this aggressive unless politics are involved.”

 

“Vin! Don’t apologize for me.”

 

“Well I wouldn’t,” he said, “but it didn’t seem like you were gonna apologize for yourself is all.”

 

“I don’t need to apologize! In absolutely no way am I in the wrong.”

 

“Ya being rude, Renee,” Vin said, pausing for a beat. “Rudenee.”

 

“Oh, it’s quite alright,” Jarled said, putting his hands in front of himself. “I wouldn’t expect you to trust me, we just met after all.”

 

“But you will expect us to trust you once we’ve known each other for a while,” she said.

 

“Not necessarily,” he clarified. “I can’t demand that you trust me, that’s not what trust is, and although I would love it if you grew to trust me I understand that sometimes that’s just not going to happen.  That said, I will be expect a certain amount of respect. There are going to be rules, and I am going to hold you to following them.”

 

“What are the rules?” she asked.

 

“I was planning on coming up with the household rules with you, once we got to know each other a little. We could do it now though, if you’d prefer.”

 

“You want us to make the rules that we are going to be living under?”

 

“Well, yes. They are going to have a pretty significant effect on your life for the next few years, so you should get some say in them. And these rules don’t just affect you - I’m going to be living by them too. They’ll govern how we will operate as a household. It’s a good way to formally set boundaries and make sure needs are met.”

 

“So what if we want to make some completely unreasonable rules?” Renee said.

 

“Then we’ll have to talk about it.”

 

“What if we don’t want to talk about it?” Renee said. “You don’t know anything about us. What if we’re just fundamentally unreasonable people? What would you do then?”

 

“Well,” Jarled said slowly, “are you a fundamentally unreasonable person?”

 

“I might be.”

 

“Oh my god,” Vin interjected. “I will not have my position as the unreasonable one usurped by you of all people. You’re like, the most reasonable person I’ve ever met when you aren’t being difficult for the sake of being difficult.”

 

“I am not being difficult for the sake of being difficult.”

 

Vin cocked his head. “So why are you being so difficult then?”

 

“I’m not being difficult,” she said. “I’m being cautious. Something you could really stand to be more often.”

 

Vin shrugged. “Caution’s overrated. Constant vigilance takes effort.”

 

“There’s a difference between constant vigilance and actually caring about what happens to you.”

 

“Nah.”

 

Renee pinched the bridge of her nose. “ _Anyway_. Rules. I’m sure you have some in mind; why don’t you tell us what they are and we can get this over with?”

 

“I don’t have too many, myself,” Jarled said. “I need it to be quiet when I’m sleeping. You don’t need to be silent but I will need to to be quiet. I’m going to ask that you go to school or do something equivalent - we can set up an independent learning plan if public school would be a problem for you. While we’re still fairly unfamiliar with each other I would ask that you don’t wake me during the night unless it’s an emergency. Being on the moon constantly pushes me towards my canine form so when I’m sleeping I go full wolf, and can be a little excitable around people whose smells I’m not familiar with. I’m going to expect you to do some of the household chores, but we can divvy up the specifics of those a bit later. I’m fine doing anything so you can take your pick at what you want to do.

 

“Do you have anything in mind for rules you want?”

 

“It’s not exactly a rule but I want a door with a lock,” Renee said. “Ideally my own room but I would be content enough to share a room with Vin or Charlie.”

 

“It’s a four bedroom living space, so you can all have your own rooms. And yes, the doors lock. Once the lock is keyed to you the only way I could cause it to open is by starting a fire, as safety protocols will then unlock all the doors.”

 

“I want a physical lock, one that can’t be opened by a computer.”

 

“That can be arranged,” said Jarled. “The doors slide open so it wouldn’t be hard to attach something for a padlock. I will warn you ahead of time that the bedrooms are a little on the small side; there isn’t much more room than is taken up by a bed, shelf, and desk.”

 

“That’s fine. I’m used to confined quarters.”

 

“So,” Vin said, “why does one guy have a four bedroom place, anyway?”

 

The wolf sighed. “When I was younger, I had a bit of a hoarding problem. As most places here don’t have that much storage space, and I had a fair sized disposable income from my job at the solar plant, I decided to get a place with extra rooms to hold my things. I’ve gotten a lot better since then, but the communal area might be a little cluttered for the first few days while I get rid of some things.”

 

“Is having us move into your space going to be a problem for you?” Charlie asked.

 

Jarled’s head shook as he spoke. “Oh, no, no. I can - and should - get rid of a few things. I’m nowhere near as bad as I used to be. It’s just, when the place is empty and I have so much space, it’s really easy to pick up a thing or two that I don’t need, and, well, it adds up. When I have people living over it’s actually a lot easier for me to restrain myself, because I know I wont have anywhere to put things. Normally I would already have cleaned the space out but this was very short notice.”

 

“Uh, I have a rule, if it’s alright?” Charlie said.

 

“Of course it is.”

 

“Could we always warn each other before inviting someone over?” Charlie said quietly. “Sometimes people I don’t know well are really overwhelming and I’d like to be able to prepare myself.”

 

Jarled smiled. “That’s fine. I would even add to it and say that any of us can deny a request to have someone over if they aren’t up to that person being in their space. And the moon has plenty of places to hang out, so you don’t need to worry about being unable to see your friends because of that rule.”

 

Charlie, who had basically wanted just that but hadn't had the nerve to say it for zirself, said, “That’s a nice addition.”

 

“Do any of you have or require a service animal?” Jarled asked, going through a mental checklist.

 

“Not unless Charlie’s been holding out on us,” Vin said.

 

“No, I’ve never had a pet.”

 

“Well, if you end up thinking that an animal would be beneficial to you just let me know.” Jarled moved onto the next item. “What foods do you like? We’ll mostly be eating algae, but it comes in a wide variety of flavors and textures, so I can get some that are based on foods that you like. I also might be able to get the real deal every now and then as a treat, depending on what you like.”

 

“Oh man, chocolate. Have you had chocolate? It’s pretty great. Really great. You know the internet? It’s like that but in your mouth. Only tasty. And less full of porn. And it’s nothing like the internet, actually.” Vin tilted his head upwards. “Outside of that I’m not sure. Tofu was pretty good. And like, noodles? Noodles were fun. Loved the cronch. I’m going to have to say no on protein bars though. I’m done with the protein bar. That chapter of my culinary history is behind me, evermore.”

 

“I am going to agree that, on the off chance that an ‘unflavored protein bar’ variety of algae actually exists, I want nothing to do with it.” Renee shook her head slightly. “That said, I’m not picky, and Vin doesn’t know what he’s talking about. If you get a variety of options I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

 

“I’ve always liked fish,” Charlie said.

 

Vin leaned back and said, “You’re a walking stereotype, Charlie. Ya just like ya fatha.”

 

Ze stared at Vin. “I really don’t understand the things you say sometimes.”

 

“Well, I don’t understand the things I say all the time so you’re doing better than I am.”

 

“How are you planning on doing meals?” Renee interjected. “Are you going to expect us to all eat together or do you have something else in mind?”

 

“Well, I like cooking, so I would be happy to make something for all of you, but if you would rather eat alone I’m certainly not going to stop you,” Jarled answered.

 

“Well… good,” she said.

 

They continued to talk about the specifics of living together until Jarled stretched out and said, “That should be enough for now. And keep in mind that nothing that we’ve discussed here is set in stone; if anything isn’t working for you we can always change it.”

 

Charlie nodded. “That’s good to know.”

 

“Now, would you guys mind being left on your own for a little while I go and make some final preparations for your stay?”

 

“That would be fine,” Renee said.

 

“Excellent. I’ll be back soon.”

 

“Well,” Charlie said after a moment. “He seems nice.”

 

“A little too nice if you ask me,” Renee said, glaring at the door.

 

“Aw,” said Vin, “Is someone a little suspicious about the new guy?”

 

“It’s just… he seemed to know the right thing to say for everything!”

 

“Well, he did say that he had done this before,” Charlie pointed out.

 

“Which is the perfect excuse, isn’t it?” Renee said. “He’s trying to get our guards down.”

 

“That is generally the goal of taking care of trauma victims,” Charlie said.“Getting them to a place where they can relax and lower their guard, that is.”

 

Renee crossed her arms. “It’s also generally the goal of someone with an agenda.”

 

“Not everyone has a agenda.” Ze paused before adding, “Or, at least, not everyone has a _bad_ agenda.”

 

“I’m not saying that everyone would abuse the power they hold over us, but that anyone _could_ ,” Renee said. “We don’t know this person at all. We have no reason to believe that he won’t try something. Literally the only thing we know about him is that he worships a demon. That’s not a point in his favor.”

 

Vin rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but it’s Tyrone. He barely counts as a demon.”

 

Renee stared at Vin. “He killed thirty-five million people in a matter of hours.”

 

“Happens to the best of us.”

 

“ _Anyway_ , I am in no way unwilling to give this Jarled a chance. We presently lack options, and I’m not in denial about that,” she explained. “I’m just saying I don’t trust him, that I find his behavior suspicious rather than reassuring, and I don’t see that changing.”

 

“And we wouldn’t expect you to. After all, if you didn’t have severe trust issues, how would we even know it was you?” Vin asked.

 

She glared. “I do not have trust issues. My suspicion of strangers with power over me is perfectly reasonable, considering my life experience.”

 

“Ah, the good ol’ ‘it’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you’ argument, huh?”

 

“I don’t think that trust issues have to be irrational. I think most people with trust issues had their trust violated at some point,” Charlie said. “You have problems bringing yourself to trust someone new. I think that’s all that trust issues are.”

 

“Well, fine then, maybe I do have trust issues. But I don’t see that as a problem,” she said. “It just means that when things finally go wrong I won’t be taken by surprise.”

 

“I don’t think things are going to go wrong, though. At least, not like they went wrong before. It would be pretty improbable for something like that to happen to us twice.”

 

“I do hope you’re right, but I’m certainly not holding my breath over here,” she said. “Who knows? Maybe he really is what he seems. We’ll just have to wait and see.”


	2. A Game's Afoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcor proposes a game and everyone makes characters for it.

“All I’m saying is it’s utter bullshit that makes no sense is all.” Vin slumped as he walked, arms crossed, his long neck lowered to put his head just off the floor.

 

They were walking with the flood of students out of the school. The hallway, although not narrow per se, wasn’t quite wide enough for the mass of students trying to navigate it at the end of the day. If you wanted to go against the flow it was generally easiest to just wait a few minutes in your class for everyone to pass. 

 

“Have you tried asking your teacher?”

 

“Right, like I’m going to talk to that asshole.”

 

“From what I understand it’s - oh excuse me, I didn’t see you there.” She dodged out of the way of someone standing in the middle of the hall.

 

“Why, hello,” they said. “Just the people I was hoping to see.”

 

The hallway around them was suddenly strangely barren. It wasn’t completely empty. but the crowd around them was thin, and people seemed to be clumping up even more densely around the edges of the hallway than before. 

 

“Oh, hey dude,” Vin said.

 

“Oh. It’s you,” Renee said.

 

“What?” asked Alcor. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

 

Alcor looked different to how he had when Renee had last seen him a few weeks ago. He looked completely humanoid now; the wings were gone and the eyes were normal, and he was dressed in an outfit that was almost modern, but he still looked enough like himself that Renee had no idea how she hadn’t noticed right away. 

 

“What do you want?” she asked.

 

“What? I can’t just drop by to say hi? See how you’re doing? Hang out a little?”

 

“Why now?”

 

“Why are you so accusatory? I just noticed it had been awhile, that’s all.” He shrugged. “The time we spent together reminded me that I do like hanging out with people. And I might have gotten a little lonely with just the flock. And, uh, this generation of niblings weren’t really thrilled to have a demon uncle show up out of nowhere, the current Mizar is a little too senile to make for good introductions, Lucy Ann wants some alone time, and it turns out that you guys are the only people I’m actually on speaking terms with right now? Anyway, talking with Charlie while we were… together got me thinking about roleplaying and it occurred to me it’s been a few centuries since I played and I have some really good campaign ideas…”

 

“Do you want us to roleplay with you?” Vin asked. “Because it kinda sounds like you want to play a game.”

 

“Yes.” Alcor snapped his fingers in a fluid motion that left him pointing at Vin. “That is exactly what I want.”

 

“You want us. To play a roleplaying game. With you.” Renee was greatly surprised to find that she could, in fact, believe this. 

 

He nodded. “That is what we just established, yes.”

 

“God, Renee,” Vin said. “Do try to keep up.”

 

“You’re going to want to play Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons specifically, aren’t you?” Charlie said, eyes narrowed. 

 

“I’ve gotta show you want a real campaign is like.” Alcor was grinning just a little bit wider than a mouth naturally could. “You’ve clearly never played it right, if you think it’s bad.”

 

“You’re not going to -” Charlie sighed. “I’ve had perfectly fun games of D3 that were played mostly by the book. I’m not saying it can’t be enjoyable. It’s just a poorly designed system!”

 

“It’s a great system. I’ll prove it to you.”

 

“Okay, tell you what.” Charlie crossed zir arms. “I’ll play your D3 game if you agree to play a game that I run.”

 

“That’s fair.” 

 

Charlie tore zir eyes from the floor to meet Alcor’s. “And I don’t think you’re going to like this, but I think that we should play my game first.”

 

“What?” Alcor whined. “Why?”

 

“Because,” Charlie’s eyes gravitated back to their natural downward position, “I don’t think Vin’s ever RPed before. Is that right, Vin?”

 

“What,” Vin puffed up a little, “do you think I’m some kinda nerd?”

 

“Well…” Charlie said, “yes. I do.”

 

His feathers relaxed. “And you’re not wrong. But no, I’ve never hit that specific level of nerddom.”

 

Alcor’s eyes narrowed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

 

“D3 is a pretty hard first system,” Charlie explained.

 

“What?” Alcor scoffed. “No it’s not. It was my first system.”

 

Charlie put zir hands up. “Comparatively. There’s a lot more to keep track of than in many other systems. Character creation can take hours. And when you’re still getting the hang of trying to roleplay it can be hard to also keep track of what you can and cannot do.”

 

“And what perfect system are you proposing we imprint him to?”

 

“Well, I’m running a murder mystery, so I was going to go the obvious route and use Hawkshaw,” Charlie said. “And I’m not saying it’s perfect, just that there’s a lot less to keep track of than in D3.”

 

“This better be the easiest thing in the world to learn.”

 

“It’s pretty simple. You have two lists of abilities - one related to investigation, one related to everything else. If you want to investigate something and have the relevant skill, you get a clue, assuming there is one to be got. If you’re trying to do anything else, you roll a d6 against a difficulty rating I set and add points from your ability’s pool if you so choose. To make a character, you get a certain number of points for each group, and you spend points one-to-one to get a larger ability pool.”

 

“So you just automatically get clues?” Alcor asked. “Where’s the fun in that?”

 

“It’s a lot more fun than the game completely stalling because someone failed a roll and now you don’t have information you need to advance.”

 

“So a murder mystery, huh?” Vin rubbed his hands together. “Can I play the corpse?”

 

“Um,” Charlie said. “No. You’re all playing sleuths.”

 

“Well, can I play a dead sleuth?” asked Vin. “A ghostly gumshoe? Trying to solve my own murder?”

 

“How about, we put that character concept on the backburner and see if you can come up with anything else you’d like to play, once you’ve actually looked at the abilities and stuff.”

 

Vin crossed his arms. “There would have to be some pretty bitchin’ abilities to win out over Deadie McDeaders, ghost gumshoe.”

 

“That would be quite the name to be afflicted with as a living person,” said Renee.

 

“The McDeaders lineage is a long and proud one,” Vin explained. “Deadie was originally going to be named Freadie, but his dad was real drunk at the naming ceremony and misspelled it. Too proud a man to admit that he’d made a mistake, the name was set forever.”

 

“No story will make you more upsettie, than the tale of the one named Deadie,” Renee murmured.

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry Charlie, but I’m getting kinda attached to this guy,” said Vin.

 

Renee rolled her eyes.“He’s going to completely forget about him in a week.”

 

“That may be true,” Vin said, “but I love him with all my heart right at this moment.”

 

“You can be a murder victim if you want, but we’re going to have to make your backstory together,” said Charlie. 

 

“I’m going to be the self-declared solar system’s greatest detective,” Alcor said. “Turned to a life of crime fighting to avenge my criminal-murdered parents as a child.”

 

“As opposed to all those non-criminal murderers,” Vin said.

 

Renee turned to Vin. “Do you know anything about the police? Anything at all?”

 

“Saying you’re the greatest detective isn’t actually too much of an overstatement; you guys are going to be pretty kickass at what you do,” Charlie said.

 

“Excellent.” Alcor was grinning widely. “So when are you guys open to start this?”

 

As they figured out the specifics of when and how they were going to play, Alcor’s invisible wings quivered with excitement. He was actually going to get to roleplay again! And sure, Charlie was going to force him to slog through a clearly inferior system, but then he was going to get to DM a proper dungeon crawl! He absolutely could not wait.

 

* * *

 

“Holy shit!” Vin exclaimed. “There’s a flirting power?”

 

The four of them were gathered around the table at Charlie, Renee, and Vin’s new home. Alcor was floating, cross legged, at one end of the table reading the sole physical copy of the gamebook. Vin, standing on a chair towering whole inches above his sitting companions, was reading a digital copy. Jarled was out for the evening, a necessary prerequisite for getting Renee any degree of relaxed outside of her room. 

 

“They aren’t powers, they’re abilities,” Charlie explained from the table’s head. “But yes, you can convince people to give you information with your awesome wiles.”

 

Vin put a hand in the air. “I call dibs on flirting!”

 

“You don’t have to call dibs,” Charlie said. “More than one person can have an ability.”

 

“That’s great,” said Vin. “Dibs. Flirting is mine.”

 

Charlie clicked zir pen. “So you’re going to be a flirtatious ghost, then?”

 

“Nah,” Vin shook his head. “Deadie McDeaders is old hat. ‘Slick’ Dick Sundry is the new, fabulous hat. It’s oversized, bright red, and has a veil. This hat is completely impossible to ignore. It’s paired perfectly with a striking low backed dress.”

 

“I take it that Slick Dick is always, quite literally, wearing this hat?” Renee asked.

 

“Well of course. It’s his trademark.”

 

“Do you have any ideas for your character, Renee?” Charlie asked.

 

“I was thinking of making a fairly straightforward noiresque detective, sticking as true as I can to the genre. Admittedly, I know next to nothing about the genre, so it may just be nothing like it at all, but I will try. I might even archive dive into some ancient pulp novels.” She frowned slightly. “I was thinking Everline for the first name but a surname eludes me.”

 

“Weedboi,” Vin suggested.

 

“No, that won’t do at all. She needs a name with some class. I am not playing an Everline Weedboi.” Renee shook her head. “She’s Everline Weed _ man _ .”

 

“Weedmister,” said Vin.

 

“That’s Madam Weedmister to you,” Renee said.

 

“So should I write down Everline Weedmister as your character, then?” asked Charlie.

 

“Of course not. Naming my character Weedmister would be slightly pretentious and completely absurd. No, I’m sticking to Weedman,” she said. “It symbolizes Everline’s everyman nature. It also subtly foreshadows the fact that she gets very high with some frequency, ostensibly to help with her early stage colon cancer, but mostly because it helps her take her mind off her painful past.”

 

“Renee. I’m not sure you understand what the fuck subtle means,” Vin said. “Like, you got hella words up in your head and something must have gotten where it shouldn't have because ‘Weedman’ is about as subtle as a flaming brick to the face.”

 

“I think I’m missing something,” Charlie said. “I don’t see how it’s connected to getting high at all.”

 

“It’s old slang for cannabis, Charlie.” She turned to Vin. “You know that no one has used the term ‘weed’ in centuries right?”

 

Vin looked utterly betrayed, like he just took a flaming brick to the face from someone he had trusted to not assault him with fire and rock. “Wait, people don’t say weed anymore?”

 

“You really need to get out of your bubble more.”

 

“Why did no one tell me that people don’t say weed anymore?”

 

“Had I realized that you didn’t know, I would have said something earlier.” Renee paused a beat. “Or maybe I wouldn’t have. It can be rather amusing to watch you use slang, a millennium outdated, with the absolute certainty that the person you are talking to understands what it is you are saying.”

 

“Wait,” his eyes narrowed. “Why the hell do you know what weed is? That’s not one that’s obvious from context.”

 

“The war on drugs of the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries is an utterly fascinating case of the State finding excuses to incarcerate undesirable populations, and the case of marijuana specifically is quite interesting in how it so perfectly showcases the role of race in the ‘war’ and exemplifies how, contrary to the claims of the State, it was never actually about concern for public health,” Renee explained. “There are some very good primary sources on this from the era that don’t use academic language, so I know a surprising amount of informal Transcendental drug lingo.”

 

“Why do you always have the most absurd reasons for knowing things?” Vin asked.

 

“So, Alcor, you had some character concepts already, right?” Charlie leaned forward, pen ready. 

 

“Yeah, I was just getting my stats down,” answered Alcor. “I’m going to be a rich businessman who is living the double life of a crime fighter to avenge his parents who were murdered by criminals when he was child. He’s a very lawful guy. And I was thinking that it might be kinda fun to have an animal theme? Like bats or something.”

 

Vin put his hands in front of himself. “O-kay Tyrone-ay I’m going to have to ask you to hold on a second. Just take that second and get real close. Hold on tightly to that second. You don’t ever want this moment with this second to end. Are you actually and literally playing the mother fucking Batman?”

 

“Oh right, I somehow forgot that you were a comics guy.” Alcor shook his head. “I need to be more careful about what old IPs I blatantly rip from.”

 

“I never actually got into the comics. I was just in it for the show.”

 

“Which one? Animated? That was a really well done look into the character.”

 

“I’m not sure which one it was. Probably not Animated though, cause it was live action.”

 

“There’ve been a couple live action shows. Could you be more specific?”

 

“Lets see here, it’s fucking absurd and one of the greatest things I‘ve ever rested my eyeballs upon. The credits weren’t translated and were still in old English, but I’m pretty sure the lead’s name was a direction?”

 

“A direction? As in East? Adom East? You’re only exposure to Batman is Sixties Batman? I don’t even…” Alcor sucked some air in, putting his hands, palms together, to his mouth. “You know, I was really, one hundred percent, planning on playing an over the top grimdark Batman. I was. It was going to be super serious. Super serious man dressed as a bat. He was going to be the night, one hundred percent. But now. How could I possibly play anything other than Adom East Batman?”

 

“Okay so who exactly is Batman?” asked Charlie.

 

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,” Vin tutted. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You gotta understand,” he continued. “Nothing so strikes terror into the criminal mind as the shape and shadow of a huge bat.”

 

“I, um, don’t think that’s true?”

 

Vin crossed his arms. “Of course it’s true. It was said by a commissioner. Commissioners can’t lie, Charlie, it’s illegal. They’d implode at the thought.”

 

“Oh, well, if a fictional commissioner said it… I’m sorry I doubted you,” said Charlie.

 

“Well, I suppose with a genuine apology I might be able to forgive you,” Vin said, and leaned forward. “Do you really, really, feel that apology? From deep within your heart? With every fiber of your being? With your every cell calling out for forgiveness?”

 

“If I’m being entirely honest, not really,” Charlie said. “Maybe ten percent of my cells are calling out for anything, and I’m pretty sure they just want me to be better hydrated.”

 

“Then you will never know forgiveness!” cried Vin.

 

“So is it cool if I steal some public domain IP for my character?” Alcor asked.

 

“I mean,” Charlie said, “I don’t think I can stop an all-powerful demon like yourself from stealing from the public domain. I would rather you came up with your own character but I kinda get the feeling that if I say no you’ll just steal some other old character that Vin wouldn’t know about, so sure, I guess.”

 

“Aw yeah,” Alcor grinned widely. “I’m Batman.”

 

“Okay,” Charlie said, clicking a pen. “So our characters are “Slick” Dick Sundry, Everline Weedman, and Batman?”

 

“Batman being the alter ego of businessman Bruce Wayne,” Alcor clarified. 

 

“Alright,” Charlie said. “Let’s do this. Anyone need help with their stats?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's still alive? This bee. Or goat, I suppose, since we're on AO3. 
> 
> Hopefully the RP bit will be up tomorrow, it's fully written and edited (and has been for a while oops) but I'm going to have to color code the text and I don't know if I'll have the time.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone. It's been awhile. I currently have the rough drafts of two other short bits typed up, but it might be awhile until they get posted because I want to have the option of changing things if something doesn't work like i hope it will. 
> 
> Basically, I'm currently writing the first role-playing campaign these nerds have, and I want to make sure that I can actually get the three characters to work with each other narratively before I post the character creation bit. I think it should be fine, but anxiety.


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